Thursday, July 24, 2008

Lowe-Blow: Brian Burke's Rubber Duck Stolen By Oilers GM, Feud Continues

*This article was originally posted on Bleacher Report and appears here with permission of the writer.*

Written by Greg Gallagher

EDMONTON, Alta. — Edmonton Oilers general manager Kevin Lowe has struck back again at Brian Burke.

After being subject to the outspoken Anaheim Ducks general manager's constant negativity through the press following last year's controversial offer sheet to restricted free agent Dustin Penner, Lowe finally struck back recently during an interview on Edmonton sports radio.

When NHL commissioner Gary Bettman told the two to stop, both men did—but Lowe still wanted a piece of Burke.

Realizing that Burke could easily handle him in a fight, Lowe instead engaged in a covert operation and stole Burke's rubber duckie last week.

"The duck illegally put the Ducks over the salary cap," claimed Lowe, who is allegedly holding the duck hostage at Rexall Place. "Brian is hurting our league with these rogue, fowl signings."

However, Brian Burke surprised the media when asked for comment.

"I would advise Kevin to keep his hands off my duck," he said. "At the last GM meeting, I took his entire 1994 POG collection from his hotel room, and I will smash it all to bits with my cast-iron Burke Salary Cap Slammer if he threatens my duck."

Burke also said his rubber duckie signing fell within the rules.

"You are clearly allowed to sign one duckie over the cap under the Bird Exception," he said about the duck, which reportedly prefers to "play the wing."

When informed that the Bird Exception actually referred to the NBA's salary cap rule, and not a rule allowing rubber birds on a team named after a bird, Burke was unrelenting.

"Kevin Lowe tried to sign an oil rig this summer," said Burke. "I bet it could play better defence than he ever did."

Lowe, for his part, is trying to take the high road.

"If he had just asked, I would have given him the POGs," said Lowe. "Otherwise, he'd better hope his Salary Cap Slammer has a darn good chick magnet in it so he can attract something other than rubber duckies to go on a date with."

1 comment:

MJ Kasprzak said...

Ugh, that is bad--my Dad would love this humour! But these two are acting childish enough you could buy this. They make Favre and the Packers look like they've taken the high road.

Seriously, I agree that what Lowe did with Penner was dumb, but Burke has nothing to complain about. Not only were the three picks better than a large contract to a guy who really had just one good year, but Lowe was within his right to make this move! For all his obsessing over it, Burke looks worse than Lowe.